I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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