god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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