I'm going to jail i love you
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize