i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Congratulations! We have a period
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
