Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
