I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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