You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
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his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
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We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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