You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Randomize
