Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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