It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
