i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize