She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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