You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
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