there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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