She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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