I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
