it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
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like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
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We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead