she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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