apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
