This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
