never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
