Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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