Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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