ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
