Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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