Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
