2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
