Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
