I wish i was in the wii world.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
