is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
