Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
should my penis look like a turkey
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
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Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
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You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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