Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
