HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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