What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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