I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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