Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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