Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
