You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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