You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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