Sponge bath it is.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
