I accidentally had phone sex last night
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
