you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't turn off my feet"
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize