she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Randomize
