He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
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I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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