Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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