A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
