Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Do you have feelings for this penis?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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