It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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