Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Boobs are out for the taking
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
