I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
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