Duck Duck Cougar?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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