I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize