it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
