How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
