I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
This baby is an asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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