Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
