I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
