If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
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I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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