At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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